Fun Stuff, Jokes, Pictures and Other Off The Wall Things

     If you have anything that you think belongs in this weekly column, please send it to us. If we use it we will give you credit if you would like. Life is too much fun to be always taken seriously. Send your entries to FunStuff@citydebate.com remember to include your name.

If you build it, they will come.

Submitted By: Mike Thompson  #1264

IF ONLY THEY'D HAD A JEWISH MOTHER...

• MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a

smile?"

• CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:

"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write."

• MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other

children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the

ceiling?"

• NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your

jacket and show me!"

• ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other

kids?"

• GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss

your allowance good-bye!

• THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn

it off already and go to sleep!"

• PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long

past your bedtime!"

• ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?"

• MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:

"Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty years?"

• BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:

"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"

• BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica!"

Submitted By: J J Callari  #1265

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found
a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one
of the pills. The son said, "I  don't think you should take one Dad; 
they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, I'd still like to try one,and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow." Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said
"I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."

I know," said Grandpa..........

"The hundred is from Grandma."

Submitted By: Mike Thompson  #1266

YOUR  AGE   BY  EATING  OUT

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute.  Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757...
If you haven't, add 1756.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit of this was your original number. (I.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Submitted By: J J Callari  #1266

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